


Do You Remember?

by mattie9



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattie9/pseuds/mattie9
Summary: Patsy reflects on her relationship with Delia. Takes place in series 4.





	Do You Remember?

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching series 4 again and I just had to write something about it.
> 
> Hope y'all like it.

It was the first day of training school and I saw you moving into the room next door. I was a little apprehensive about fitting in, but I was resigned to the awkwardness. I had moved around all my life and this was just another instance where I just had to put on a brave face and get on with it.

I arranged my boxes according to where they were to be put away. I had long since learned that it was the best way to do it as efficiently and painlessly as possible. In a few hours everything was tidied away and I realized it was time for a shower. I took my belongings to the bathroom and as the grime of the day washed away I felt relieved.

I remember as I walked back, hearing soft humming and despite myself, a smile tugged my lips. Your door was ajar, and through it I could see you hadn’t developed my level of organizational skills quite yet. I saw you with your back turned towards me, sitting on the floor reading. Clearly you were trying to arrange your bookshelf and got distracted. There was a vase on top of the book case which had the most fantastic bouquet of blue irises arranged perfectly. Evidently, our priorities were slightly different.

You must’ve felt eyes on you and so you turned to meet my gaze. I remember most clearly thinking that the blue of the flowers couldn't possibly rival the color of your eyes. You smiled and whipped around to introduce yourself. The gentle welsh lilt of your voice made you even more endearing.

I will forever associate those blue irises with you and our first day. Do you remember?

**

Despite the fact that we were two years apart in age, we managed to become friends almost instantly. People thought you were a little out of place at first, but you managed to charm everyone. Though I think they were a little confused about our friendship. I was never surprised that we became friends - that seemed as natural to me as breathing.  
  
What I was surprised about was how kind you were to those snooty girls in the beginning. I remember your hand gently touching my arm trying to hold me back from speaking my mind for what felt like the thousandth time. I couldn’t understand how you could be so forgiving. Then I realized your true plan. God, you were bright, besting most of those silly girls in every exam. That made them back off. Our hours of studying together made the grueling pace manageable I was so glad to have you as my friend.

As the months went by, we settled into a familiar routine. We had grown close talked about everything with each other. I had thus far carefully avoided the subject of my childhood. You sensed my evasiveness and gave me space. Then that time of the year rolled round again. I had apparently cried out in my sleep and you’d heard. You came to me and held me through my tear-stricken grief. 

I woke up in the middle of the night to see you’d dozed of next to me, but your arm was still draped over my waist protectively. I woke you and thanked you and you awkwardly took your leave. I was grateful for the fact that we were on different shifts the next day, so I wouldn’t see you for a couple of days. I needed the distance. What I hadn’t expected was a bunch of fresh daisies on my bed and your note full of care and understanding.

I remember when you came by that night to check up on me and I thanked you for the flowers. You held my gaze for a long time before chiding me for not offering you a nightcap with the thanks. You looked at me with such disappointment that it made me chuckle, and suddenly the awkward tension between us was gone. I felt light and it was the first inkling of hope I had that things between us might be changing- edging towards something I had only dreamed of. Nothing flagrant or overt in the words we shared; merely an inflection of tone, the touch of your hand.  
  
I will forever associate the bright white daisies with you and the beginning of possibilities between us. Do you remember?

**

The next few months went by in a breeze. We had started our clinical rotations, so on our rare night off a group of us decided to go out to let our hair down. I wasn’t too keen on the idea, but you seemed to be looking forward to it so I agreed. What I hadn’t bargained for was William to meet us at the door. Apparently some of the doctors were joining us too. I’d been dodging William for almost the entirety of my rotation, but I couldn’t very well turn him down in front of his friends when he stood there with a bunch of roses. As we walked to the bar, I could feel your mood turn. I tried to hint that this wasn’t at all my idea, but you just seemed to withdraw into yourself. You looked happy and relaxed enough to the casual observer, but I knew you were anything but. We had been skirting around our feelings for a few months now, but I wasn’t sure until that night- you felt the same way I did. You watched me dance with William, and as I walked back from my dance, you made an excuse to leave. I tried to stop you, but you were gone before I could say anything.

I excused myself as quickly as I politely could and walked back to the nurses home. I knocked and entered your room and I watched you for a long silent moment, sitting in the darkness by the window, your features lit up by the moon light. I was struck anew by your grace and beauty. I remember the moment you realized you were no longer alone. You turned and slowly raised your moistened eyes to meet mine.  
  
Time stopped. I remember being astounded at the fact that everything I had ever heard about this moment was true, but paled in comparison to the reality of what we were now sharing. Your eyes, those beautiful eyes looked at me with love and longing, desire and joy and I knew my own reflected the same fiercely back to you.

I remember the bouquet I had absently carried fall to my feet as you closed the distance between us. For the first time we came together as more than friends. We came together as lovers and it was all that I hoped for and more than I ever imagined it could be.   
  
I will forever associate the crimson of roses with you and the burgeoning of our newly admitted love. Do you remember?

**

I got the letter from Nonnatus. It was perfect - everything I wanted from employment except for one major point. I would take me away from you. I had put so much effort in the training, but I faltered at the last step. I couldn’t leave you.

Then you convinced me to take it- assuring me it was the opportunity I’d worked so hard for and that I might not get a second chance at. I saw your heart breaking with mine. Though my mind understood what you were saying, and even recognized the truth in your words, my soul felt the rending from yours and my heart could only comprehend that I was being sent away.  
  
I wasn't sure we would survive this separation but I was determined to try my hardest for you. I remember looking into your eyes at the going away party in the nurse’s home as we prepared to say goodbye. I realized how much it was costing you, and it made me more determined that we would survive this. Later as I was putting away the lilies one of our friends had given me as good wishes, I heard you sneaking into my room that night. I remember your eyes melting as mine. You saw the moment I truly understood what we meant to each other and it was destiny. I remember you putting a finger to my lips to halt any apologies or explanations, shaking your head.  
  
"Go," you whispered. "I'll be here."  
  
I nodded, and I crawled into your arms wanting to never let go. We kissed and I lay there all night watching you sleep as the room filled with the scent of the flowers.

I will forever associate the blushing pink lilies with you and our souls intertwining. Do you remember?

**

I remember that early spring morning as I cycled back from a birth. The night had been trying but the baby boy had been healthy. The father, a florist, overjoyed at his new addition had offered me a bouquet of daffodils.

All I could think of was you. I knew you would be just getting off your shift and though we were going to meet later that day I just couldn’t wait. I dropped off my bag at Nonnatus and made my way to the nurses home. I knew I could sneak my way into your room unnoticed. I lay the flowers on you bed and waited. I stood behind the doorway to see the surprise when you found a flash of yellow on your bed and turned around to see me.

You jammed the first book that you could reach under the door and with a gentle pull brought us together. Those flowers nearly didn't survive what they had started. I didn’t say what I felt often, but the look you gave me that day made me certain you understood what I had been so inadequately trying to convey.

The sky was brilliantly blue that day, but not as brilliant as your eyes. How your eyes could change with your feelings, I would never know. I preferred to think of it as your own special brand of magic. You always had a bit of that, you know.  
  
I remember the sun shining brightly, the cool breeze that stirred the perfumed air surrounding us and the love that reflected so fiercely in your eyes that even the flowers couldn't compare to their vitality. And I remember the intense happiness that course through my soul. It was a feeling that nothing, not even the color and scents surrounding us, could compare to.  
  
I will forever associate the sunny hues of those daffodils with you and the our souls merging as one. Do you remember?

**

I sit here now, at your bedside. Trying to implore to the heaven’s that they’d bring you back to me. Even as you lie here obviously in pain, you thank me for the flowers I bring every day.

I remember the gentle joy you showed in the smallest things.

We've shared so much love and contentment together. We shared our laughter and our tears, our happiness and our pain, our triumphs and our tragedies. So many were still to come.  
  
I just wanted to remind you how much I love you; to thank you for the many blessings you've shared with me and ask....  
  
Do you remember?

I will wait for you until you do.

**Author's Note:**

> As always comments/ suggestions welcome!


End file.
